rambling

I have lived a full life to the point where nothing really surprises me any more. I was blessed enough recently to rid myself of questionable company from men that had ulterior motives for " helping" me. At first glimpse it seems like the help was right on time and there was no better feeling but when put under close scrutiny....I had to look at the glass as half full. While i was bless to have some where to stay while looking for work and preparing for school but the male gent began to expect a more physical form of compensation. His exact words came to be ( your time is my time...you have no time). The shock of the rawness of his comment both saddened me and put me on guard. Now i by no means hold all men accountable for the actions and words of the few. I thank god that i was able to see and know what was done for me was not with out reason. But i am grateful.....i know that i need the to ensure that i am never put in that position again. Lesson learned.

Some days are designed to be better then others and some to teach you. I was able to get alot accomplished today despite me lack of transportation and resources. I had a very dear friend of mine call and complain about what he was going thru with his wife, but when i told him of all the challenges i was facing.....he got quite. I left the only place i had to lay my head to escape a situation that was rapidly deteriorating situation. I am a single mother with three kids looking to start from scratch with nothing. But i have my health and my will. Often we take things for granted and judge others without looking at the whole picture or what their back ground story is. Today was a productive day.....with makes it a good day by default. I was able to accomplish goals set in my first day. People that went to for help asked what was really going on sensing that i really didnt want to have to ask and were shocked when the truth flowed from my mouth. "But you are so well composed and look well put together". That was a compliment considering that i had change whom i was as individual. I look at people going in to their beautiful homes and wonder if they are grateful for what has been blessed to them of rather or not they even know that they are really bless. What i wouldn't give to be able to walk in to a home that i own.......and just be. In my last situation i had a person tell me " your time isnt yours.....its mine. You have no time". Even if he was drunk my grandmother taught me that a drunk tongue speaks a sober mind. I was blessed to have a place to go no matter what the condition. When I got here with no job, tired and depressed i made a promise that i would be the best me i could be. I know my twin and husband would have wanted it. Its hard to be a broken woman, a broken mom or broken spirit...........but i am determined to make a better life for me and my daughters. Today was a better day then when i arrived ......broken.